You Know You're Cleaning Out Your Inbox When...

...you start posting stupid forwards from many months ago. So here you go:

Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about West
Virginians...

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September throug h May, you may
live in West Virginia.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't
work there, you may live in West Virginia.

If you've ever yanked a drive-in movie speaker off the post when exiting
the theatre lot with your best girl, you may live in West Virginia.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in West
Virginia.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you may live in West Virginia .

If "vacation" means going anywhere south of Charleston for the weekend,
you may live in West Virginia .

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in West Virginia.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may
live in West Virginia.

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back
again, you may live in West Virginia.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without flinching, you may live in West Virginia.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked, you may live in West Virginia.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you may live in West Virginia.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
may live in West Virginia.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph and you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, you may live in West Virginia .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you may live in West Virginia.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you may live in West Virginia.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live
in West Virginia.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in West Virginia.

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
West Virginia friends & others, you definitely have lived in West
Virginia!


Sure, I've seen these used before on for other "If you have..." lists. Like, If You Live in Pittsburgh. Or if you Live in Seattle. Or in Palm Beach (Perhaps not Palm Beach. But you feel me?). But whatever. A lot of it is true. E.g., I have no idea how many miles it is between home and Morgantown, but I can tell you it takes about two hours if you're going to the Sabraton exit, and two hours and 20 minutes if you're going to the Weston exit. Add 5 minutes if you're trying to get to the mall up there.